When You've Nothing to do
by Idiom Laurels
Summary: Hiei, DON'T BE BORED! There's plenty for a little demon to do! Especially when he has such a pretty fox to visit... a fanfic for all who are bored and are into KURAMAxHIEI!
1. Default Chapter

HELLO! I'd like to dedicate this fanfic to Katyfoxdemon2, who I heard was bored. X.X So, here ya go! Something to do for at least a few minutes, right? LOL  
  
I do not own YYH.  
  
WARNING! Hiei/Kurama! If you do not like that kind of thing, don't complain to me about it and certainly don't read this fanfic!  
  
(Hiei's POV)  
  
What to do, what to do . . .  
  
Why did I even bother to stay in this stupid human world anyway? It was boring! I couldn't even go out and train at will whenever I wanted because of the threat of someone finding me and 'turning me in to the authorities', no! I wasn't going through that again!  
  
In any matter, there was too much to make a demon bored in this world.  
  
From my tree branch I could see a bookstore, and a few people going in and out every once in a while. I'd go in there and look around . . . if I could read their idiotic language. It didn't have any logic to it. Hn. But still, it was made by humans, how hard could it be to learn? Kurama did a good job of it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
So, I hopped off my perch, onto the sidewalk, and casually entered the store.  
  
"How may I help you?" a woman asked me, with a kind smile on her lips. I stood there silently, staring at her, wide-eyed and suspicious. "Umm, can I help you with anything?" she repeated, sounding a little nervous.  
  
I still stood silently. Until finally I was fed up with standing there getting looks and decided to leave, very quickly. So in a blur I disappeared out of the store and back onto the street.  
  
'No what?' I asked myself as I just decided to walk forward in no . . . particular direction. And on my way I just happened to stumble upon Kurama's house. Well, while I was here, I might as well score points and go visit the fox. That wasn't suspicious; it wasn't as though I had any other motives, of course not.  
  
"Hiei, is that you!?" I jerked my head up quickly to see Kurama looking out his window and down at me. He startled me! I would have to go up to him and teach him a lesson!  
  
I leaped up onto the tree outside his window, before my feet were landed for more than 0.000002 seconds; I jumped again into Kurama's room . . .  
  
"Hn," I greeted him. I guess I hadn't realized what time it was, because Kurama was still in his nightclothes.  
  
"Hello Hiei! What brings you here?" he asked cheerfully, taking a seat on his bed, crossing his legs and smiling at me, all happy-like.  
  
"Revenge," I grunted firmly as I walked over to stand in front of him, putting a scowl on my face.  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"You startled me when you called from inside your room to me outside. I'm not taken by surprise easily and I don't like it," I told him in a harsh tone, moving closer to him.  
  
"But . . . that doesn't explain why you're here. If you were coming to my house for revenge for what I just did a second ago, you came here for a different reason before that happened, right?" Kurama said in an all- knowing way.  
  
What a stupid, smart fox Kurama was.  
  
"Fine. I was bored. I came to see you. That's all. I did not have anything else planned. I do not have feelings for you. I do not wish for us to have intercourse. I am not attracted to you. I was bored, and I can't stand that bookstore so I came here," I said very quickly. Wait, what had I just said?  
  
Kurama sat there giving me a blank stare, until he broke out in hysterical laughter.  
  
I had said something I shouldn't have didn't I!? Let's see . . .  
  
::I did not have anything else planned. I do not have feelings for you. I do not wish for us to have intercourse. I am not attracted to you.::  
  
Damn it . . .  
  
"Hiei! You're so funny!" Kurama laughed as he rolled around on his bed. My cheeks had grown very red. It wasn't good. I had better leave fast before he figures out that I wasn't joking! I DIDN'T JOKE OFTEN! I quickly turned my back and casually started to inch towards the window . . . "Hiei, where are you going?" I froze. Damn it.  
  
"Out," I replied quickly, inching a few more steps.  
  
"Hiei, I think it would be best . . ." Kurama trailed off, standing up and closing my only means of escape, then grabbing my shoulder and sitting me down on his bed. "If you stayed here and repeated to me what you just said." Kurama held me down by my shoulders and stood over me, leaning down to look me in the eye.  
  
"I said I wasn't attracted to you," I answered truthfully. Well, sort of truthfully. Okay, I way lying, but he didn't know that!  
  
"Hiei, I've lied a lot in my life . . . and I've become able to detect it in others." Okay, so he did know that. "Hiei, why-! Do you . . ." he started yelling, but then shifted to a whisper. "Do you have feelings for me?"  
  
My face turned bright red. This was embarrassing.  
  
"Of course not you idiot!" I roared at him. "Anything I feel for you is purely sexual," I added, and then realizing that that probably wasn't the best thing to say.  
  
" . . . . Really?" he asked, sounding fairly shocked as he looked down at his hands, then jumped back, taking them off of me.  
  
"No. I was being sarcastic," I grunted.  
  
"Then why are you blushing?"  
  
"I'm not blushing."  
  
"Yes you are, Hiei."  
  
"If I was blushing, it would certainly not be because I have a sexual wanting of you, if anything, I simply have a crush on you," I answered, knowing that would cover that up. Wait . . .  
  
"HIEI! WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING!?" Kurama cried out, his cheeks turning red and his face becoming very sweaty.  
  
"Nothing. I'm saying nothing. You're just . . . taking everything so seriously," I told him in a serious tone as I stood up off his bed.  
  
"Oh . . . okay. I'm . . . sorry Hiei," Kurama apologized, walking over to his door and doing something before walking back over to me. "But, Hiei, if you really did have feelings for me, you would never be rejected." Kurama then moved over to his window, doing something to it, and then walking even closer yet.  
  
"So . . . what are YOU saying?" I asked, starting to feel nervous.  
  
"Not only will you not be rejected . . . I won't either." Kurama got a strange look on his face as he came to stand right in front of me. I backed away, but he came closer. This continued until he had me cornered at a wall. I knew I could get away, I was a lot faster than he was. So, I did! I made a mad dash for his door and yanked on the knob, only to find he had locked it. Oh crap!  
  
"Kurama, what are you doing!?" I asked him in a panic as he came closer to me yet again.  
  
"Hiei, you clearly like me, you practically already said so yourself. And, if you want me, I'm here for you, Hiei. But, only under the condition that you're here for me, and I need you now."  
  
I couldn't leave. I couldn't even lie! Kurama knew I liked him, damn it! It had all been building up for so long it must have just took over and made me tell him.  
  
"Kurama, don't . . . go crazy on me now," I plead nervously as he reached me and grabbed me around my waist.  
  
"Crazy? Oh yes Hiei, I'm crazy . . . crazy like a fox," he slurred in a suggestive manner, pulling me closer to him until I felt our chests touch.  
  
"Kurama, don't . . ." I tried to object but before I knew it Kurama's lips were pressed firmly on mine and didn't seem as though they would let up for a long while. "Mhhmm . . ." Kurama's hands held me tightly in place as he expanded on our kiss.  
  
After minutes of hugging me as tight as he could and giving me the greatest and only kiss I'd ever had, Kurama let go of me and broke our lips apart, taking a step back.  
  
"Hiei, I think now would be a good time to tell you that I like you, a lot," he told me, turning his head away and walking over to and sitting on his bed.  
  
"You really . . . love me?" I asked, now finding myself to be the shocked one. Maybe he was just messing with me . . . but, for what reason would he have?  
  
"I don't know if I really love you . . . but, I have an idea that will help us find out," Kurama said, looking and sounding a little shy as he patted the spot on his bed next to him. I couldn't stay away now. It would almost be too cold for even me. He looked so lonely and beautiful . . . I walked slowly over to the bed and rested myself next to him. Kurama's arms hesitantly wrapped around me, embracing me warmly as he whispered into my ear, "Hiei, I'm yours if you want me . . ."  
  
It all hit me like an anvil. I could finally have Kurama as my own! I could no longer be worried when a girl approached him, because he'd be taken, by me.  
  
" . . . Fine." Kurama sighed happily just as his lips found my ear and started to give little kisses. "Stop that," I warned, pushing Kurama away a little. Kurama only laughed to himself and continued to kiss all along my neck.  
  
"I'm sorry, I cannot resist you."  
  
"Okay, I lied Kurama. I *do* want to partake in intercourse! SO HA!" I snapped as I grabbed him pushed him down under me.  
  
"Oh my, Hiei . . ."  
  
"Now you'll see things my wa-!" I tried to say but Kurama cut me off with another kiss, this one filled with emotion . . . hot, wet emotion.  
  
Hmm . . . I surely had found something to do.  
  
~*END*~ 


	2. Default Chapter 2

WOW! There's another chapter to this fanfic!? How odd! Anyway, this chapter will also be dedicated to Katyfoxdemon2, who I heard was bored...AGAIN! So here's another couple of minutes worth of Kurama/Hiei time spending...doing...well here you go! Oh yes, beware the OOCness!  
  
I still don't own YYH, but if you do...it's almost my birthday! ^____^!!!!  
  
^*^*^  
  
((Let me remind you that this is a totally different story than the first chapter! All in all, any chapters I add onto this fanfic will be separate stories of boredom!))  
  
Kurama sat at his desk, doing his homework as he always did. He glanced over his shoulder every once in a while. He didn't do that all the time, it wasn't necessary, but at least it wasn't old. The fox spirit sighed. Why did today have to be so boring for him? It was the same old thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over!  
  
He glared at his homework, loathing it. It had to be a review of things....It just had to be...  
  
He then decided to take a break from it all so that he could think up something he could do to put a little excitement back into his life. He used to have fun after all. Stealing things never got old, but sadly, he didn't do things like that anymore. Speaking of such...what if he got himself a lover! Yeah! He hadn't done that in a while! But then the thought dwelled on him, reminding him of exactly why he didn't do that anymore: most humans were idiots and overall, very annoying (with t he exception of Shiori, Kuwabara, ect...). Darn! He couldn't even find a suitable lover. Since when was this logical!? He was Kurama after all! He could get himself a lover whenever he wanted! And they would love him! And if he wanted to he could take anyone off the street and make them the perfect soul mate...How? Why? Because he was Kurama!  
  
Kurama promised himself that right then, he would prove to himself that he wasn't just some boring old fox, and that he could have anyone he wanted at anytime! He just needed to find someone with which to prove this theory with....  
  
"Hey fox," Hiei said as he entered Kurama's room through the open window. BINGO! Hiei was here! How perfect! But wait...Hiei!?  
  
Kurama had to think about this for a moment.  
  
"Hello, Hiei," the fox greeted him in a very casually tone, almost as though he was ignoring the little demon. Hiei didn't like that. Kurama was usually nice to him! Had Kurama maybe replaced Hiei!? Had he found a new little fire demon to be friends with!? Hiei then started to plot the death of said other imaginary demon.... At that time, Kurama had boosted his self confidence from 'healthy' to 'cocky', and so... "Hey, do you want to be lovers?"  
  
"Sure," Hiei answered casually.  
  
Kurama was quite pleased with himself and the outcome of his little experiment. And not only that, but he had a boyfriend now! WEE! But now what? This was Hiei....the rest of his plan didn't necessarily apply to Hiei.  
  
Kurama's Plan:  
  
Step One: Get a lover.  
  
Step Two: Get them to fall in love with him.  
  
Step Three: Get himself to fall in love with them.  
  
Step Four: Make love like crazy.  
  
Step Five: Live happily ever after.  
  
After considering it a little more he decided to switch around some of the steps, seeing has how step three had already been accomplished. Kurama had been in love with Hiei for quite a long time now. And the fact that his plan had worked out with Hiei made him all the more happy. So, his new plan looked a little something like this...  
  
Step Four, Step Two, Step Four, Step Four, Step Five.  
  
But in the end, Kurama decided to discard the plan.  
  
"So, Hiei, what brings you here?"  
  
"Just came to visit my boyfriend," Hiei answered, walking over to Kurama, putting his arm around him, and giving him a little kiss on the cheek. "Is that so wrong?"  
  
"No, of course not!" Kurama smiled as he stood up and headed for his bedroom door. "I'll be right back so stay there and don't move!" the kitsune said as he exited, softly closing the door behind him. Kurama then began to panic. Why was Hiei so accepting to this!? Was this a joke? Was this a dream? Yes...a dream. After concluding that it was a dream, Kurama went back into his room and decided to make the best of it. And, of course, to test and see if it was actually a dream before he did something stupid. "Hey Hiei, would you like to make love to me?"  
  
"Alright," Hiei said, nodding in agreement. Kurama was convinced this was a dream now! Hiei would never say something like that! Of course, little did the fox know that Hiei also had assumed that this was a dream. Not only was he sure Kurama would never just up and ask him to be in a relationship...OUT OF NOWHERE, but he was also fairly sure of the same for Kurama's other request. So, and because Hiei had been in love with Kurama was a long time now, Hiei decided to enjoy his wonderful dream....  
  
Strangely enough, the two boys didn't fully realize that this was in fact reality until they were both completely unclothed, in Kurama's bed, and finished with step four.  
  
"Hiei...I wasn't dreaming...was I?"  
  
"...No."  
  
"Oh crap..."  
  
"Do you...want me to leave, Kurama?"  
  
"NO!!"  
  
~*END*~ 


	3. Default Chapter 3

I had a random thought today: "A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE BORED!" So hey, I figured—at least for the Kurama/Hiei-fanfiction-reading portion of them—why not add a chapter to this fic?  
  
Of course, as always, this is dedicated to Katyfoxdemon2, all my faithful reviews who somehow put up with me, and every Kurama/Hiei fan who happens to be bored at this time.  
  
I don't own YYH!  
  
Remember, this story has nothing to do with the last two chapters! Oh, and of course, OOCness!

--  
  
Hiei tapped his foot against the branch of the tree he sat in.  
  
Tap... Tap... Tap... Tap...  
  
As exciting as this was, it wasn't time consuming enough to get him through the entire day.  
  
Hiei pondered. What could he do to waste this utterly boring day away, quickly?  
  
'I could rob a bank,' he thought enthusiastically, 'but what would I do with money anyway...?'  
  
Tap... Tap... Tap... Tap...  
  
Somehow, Hiei's train of thought sooner or later convinced him that he was in dire need to shop.  
  
So, up rose the little fire demon! Ran he did to the market! Grab himself a shopping basket he soon accomplished, and put a pez dispenser in it he would!  
  
Then Hiei realized exactly what he was doing and quickly threw the basket back where it came form.  
  
He didn't need to shop! But he was bored anyway, so he scanned around.  
  
He spotted a young boy screaming along with his mother, a cashier blow a bubble with their gum, and a sign that said "10 Items or Less!" which Hiei found to be incredibly stupid.  
  
Complaining to the manager about the sign would surely eat away at the day!  
  
So he approached the young cashier with the gum.  
  
"Where's your manager!?" he demanded.  
  
"Umm... he's over there..." she answered dully, pointing across the store to a man in an old suit.  
  
Hiei turned his back and walked over to the man without speaking another word to the cashier.  
  
"Hey! You with the suit!" Hiei addressed the manager, in a harsh, accusing tone.  
  
"You talkin' ta me!?" the manager reply, in a tough voice, as he puffed out his chest.  
  
"That sign over there," Hiei stated vaguely, raising his hand to point at the "10 Items or Less" sign.  
  
"What about it!?"  
  
Hiei's expression softened and his tone became a little shy.  
  
"It's... incorrect," he said meekly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"It's supposed to be: 10 items or fewer."  
  
The manager stared at Hiei blankly in confusion.  
  
"I... I guess you're... right..."  
  
"SO THERE!!!" Hiei yelled, turning around and quickly leaving the store.  
  
'Hmm... that only took about three minutes,' Hiei thought with a sigh.  
  
How depressing. This day would never end...  
  
"Hiei!?"  
  
Hiei quickly turned around at the familiar, sweet voice coming from behind him in the park's direction.  
  
"Kurama...? What are you doing here?"  
  
"I... was buying pez for my little brother..."  
  
"...O... kay..."  
  
"And you, Hiei?" Kurama asked in return, putting on his sexiest of looks.  
  
Hiei remained silent, merely gawking at Kurama's new, sexier expression, and, of course, wondering exactly why he had it.  
  
"Hiei...?"  
  
"Oh. I'm just... bored," Hiei answered, shrugging as he began to walk.  
  
Kurama hurried to catch up.  
  
"Then why don't you spend the day with me!?" Kurama suggested enthusiastically.  
  
"What would we do?" Hiei retorted rudely, keeping his eyes focused on the path ahead.  
  
"Why, there are so many things to do..."  
  
"Like?"  
  
"........."  
  
"See! Today is just plain boring and there's nothing we can do about it!"  
  
"We'll go back to my house and watch an unintelligent, idiotic movie!" Kurama declared, quickly grabbing onto Hiei's arm.  
  
"HUH!?"  
  
But before the fire demon could protest, Kurama began to drag Hiei to his house. And before the authoress could explain what happened on the way there, they had arrived!  
  
"...You've become very fast, Kurama," Hiei complimented, barely noticing when Kurama sat him down on the sofa.  
  
"Thank you," Kurama replied, sitting down just as Hiei had.  
  
"...Umm... Kurama?"  
  
"Yes...?"  
  
"Why are you sitting on my lap?"  
  
"What? OH! I'm sorry!" Kurama cried, quickly getting to his feet and then moving to sit beside his friend. "It should be the other way around," Kurama stated thoughtfully, grabbing Hiei's shoulders and pulling him up onto his own lap, much to Hiei's surprise and frightening.  
  
The two shared a long, awkward stare.  
  
"Kurama, what the hell are you doing?" Hiei asked politely.  
  
"I'm... becoming very attracted to you, Hiei."  
  
Hiei nodded in contemplation.  
  
"And what the hell do you plan on doing?"  
  
"Well, I was hoping that, maybe, you and I could watch this movie."  
  
"With me sitting on your lap?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"...Do we have to watch the movie?"  
  
"No, of course not. But we'd have to find something else to do."  
  
"Do you have any other brilliant ideas, Kurama?"  
  
"WELL! We could—"  
  
"AND GIVE ME THE PG VERSION!"  
  
Kurama sat silently.  
  
Hiei nodded.  
  
"Fine. But only because I love you—I... mean because I'm bored."  
  
Kurama blinked in awe of Hiei's slip up.  
  
"I'm bored too!" Kurama cried out happily, engulfing Hiei's body in a series of hugs, cuddles and kisses. "So very bored..."  
  
--End--


	4. Do Magic 1

A/N: Well, I found myself with nothing to do for the first time in a long time, so I figured I better update this! As always, OOC (or, of course, that the characters have been mostly stripped of their personalities in order to better confront a problem that could very well plague them), and this chapter's dedicated to Katyfoxdemon2 (I miss you!), and to everyone who loves Kurama x Hiei, who is also bored out of their mind.

_**When You've Nothing to Do:**_

_**Do Magic: Part 1 of 3.**_

**_-_**

_**The time was precisely 1: 22 am. The place was precisely Kurama's bedroom. And the cursed item soon to be found was precisely a Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.**_

Kurama clutched a mound of his bedding that he'd bunched up and held it against his body as he tried to fall asleep. He kept trying to relax and let the darkness overthrow his thoughts, but it just wouldn't. There was too much working against him in his own mind to keep him awake:

For one, there was a fierce wind outside that blew a branch of a tree just so that with each gust it scraped against his window and created the most annoying noise his ears had ever been plagued with.

For two, there was a nagging thought in the back of his mind, reminding him that if he didn't fall asleep, he would be groggy the next morning. And that was enough to keep him up for hours.

For three, it was oddly cold in his room, and even with all his blankets, he was still chilled.

For four, his hands were dry, yet at risk of becoming more awake, he didn't want to get up and put lotion on them.

For five, his imagination was getting the better of him, and a paranoia that bugs were crawling about his bed filled his mind.

Kurama squirmed.

It just wasn't going to work, and he figured that he may as well just get out of bed and do something useful. So he did.

It occurred to Kurama that he'd been meaning to write Hiei a letter.

Writing a letter was sure to clear his mind and help him fall asleep. In order to write a letter, once must be fully concentrated on not only holding their writing utensil, but making sure said utensil produced what its holder intends. To create an engaging letter, Kurama knew he would also have to put great thought into what was being put on the paper. It could very well be a rather lengthy process.

The redhead grabbed a pen from his desk as he turned on his light. All in an instant, he was blinded by the harsh brightness of the 60wat light bulb, and regrettably dropped his pen.

After regaining his ability to see, he stood from the desk chair and looked around for his dropped utensil. Strangely, he couldn't see it anywhere. He looked under his chair, under his desk, and even in his shirt sleeve, but it wasn't to be found. Finally, he ducked over and checked under his bed, thinking that perhaps it had sprung to life and rolled half way across the room. As unlikely as it seemed, Kurama was surprised to find a pen resting peacefully in the darkness below the mattress. He grabbed it and went back to his letter.

Well, he was off to a good start.

(Crossed out: _Dear_) _Hiei,_

_**The time was precisely 1:30 am. The place was precisely somewhere off in the forest. And the cursed item that had just been activated was precisely a Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.**_

Hiei stopped his brisk walk abruptly at the sound of his name. He looked around, curious as to where it came from. He didn't sense any demon nearby, and what human that he knew would be out at this time of night? Well, it didn't really sound like Kuwabara, anyway. And if it had been Kurama, he would have sensed him, right? Hiei was puzzled.

He'd set out on a short trip to visit Kurama, and he figured to drop by on him some time the next morning. _Little_ did the _little_ demon know that what he didn't know was nothing _short_ of a _little_ frightening. Or rather, that he and his foxy friend were being targeted by the greatest evil the worlds had ever known, and that he was walking right into a trap.

Regardless of what was going on that he was unaware of, he could have sworn he heard someone call his name.

_**The time was precisely 1:32 am. The place was precisely Kurama's bedroom. And the cursed item that had been activated and begun seeping its evils was precisely a Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.** _

Kurama wasn't quite sure what to write Hiei about. Not much had happened since his last letter, and he didn't want to risk a boring address. He pondered over it.

'I'll just start over,' Kurama thought to himself as he crumbled up his piece of paper and picked up a new one.

_Dear Hiei, _he wrote.

'Oh… I did it again.'

Kurama threw out his new letter as well.

The time was precisely 1:39 am. The place was precisely somewhere off in the forest. And the cursed item being used was precisely a Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.

Hiei looked around again, this time sure that he heard something. Someone had to be following him. Perhaps a predator? No. The voice sounded familiar.

"Who's there?" Hiei yelled.

His voice echoed through the forest.

There was no response.

He was confused.

_**1: 42 am. Kurama's bedroom. Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.**_

After a lot of thought and wasted paper, Kurama came up with the perfect greeting for the beginning of his letter to Hiei.

Dear Hiei, he had written.

He was very pleased with the result.

Sure, before he had his doubts about the word 'dear', but when he pondered over it, he came to the conclusion that he had no reason to worry.

Kurama wiped the sweat from his forehead.

_**1: 59 am. Somewhere off in the forest. Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.**_

Hiei was fed up with all this. Someone was deliberately trying to irritate him! And that's all it was: just some kind of idiotic prank. So instead of going to see whatever it was calling him (since he'd already failed at that), he decided to continue on with what he was originally going to do: visit Kurama.

_**1: 55 am. Kurama's bedroom. Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.**_

Dear Hiei,

(Crossed out: I'm very sorry that I haven't been writing to you lately. I've been too busy for my own good. Ha-ha-ha. But while I'm not working, I'm feeling guilty and worrying about you. I know it's a misconception, but)

Kurama was having a very difficult time with the letter. Nothing was coming out right. He didn't want to sound too worried; Hiei wouldn't appreciate that. But at the same time, he wanted Hiei to feel guilty enough to actually visit him. Sure, corresponding by letter was nice, yet to see Hiei physically was more satisfying.

Oh, the dilemma.

Kurama soon picked up his pen again, though, and attempted the letter again.

Dear Hiei,

I do wish you would come to visit me. I mean, you can't be THAT BUSY! Am I not important to you? Don't you like me? What happened to our friendship, Hiei? Is it so meaningless that you would just throw it away? I don't understand. Aren't I pretty enough for you? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? Sex? Is it sex you want? Or maybe you'd like it if I DROPPED DEAD. How would THAT be, HM? Just shut up, Hiei. I will not subject myself to that. You're not worthy!

Kurama inhaled deeply, then continued writing.

I'm so sorry, Hiei. I'm just a little upset. I miss you so much, too much. It's just… you were never a man of words. Letters don't do you justice, and you don't write nearly as sexily as you look. No one does. I really want to see you, just for long enough so that I can keep going on by myself. I've wasted too much time just sitting around and watching Iron Chef while I cry into a pillow and think to myself: why doesn't Hiei love me? YOU INCONSIDERATE BASTARD.

I love you,

Kurama

Kurama stared at the letter for a few minutes. Something about it didn't send the right message, so he crumbled it up as well and grabbed another piece of paper to write a fresh oneone.

_**2:02 am. Nearly out of the forest. Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.**_

Hiei had been severely slowed down over the last few minutes. Now, not only was the voice starting to say exceedingly strange things, he was yelling. And also… it was beginning to sound like… Kurama. Just that thought alone was frightening. Kurama, although it was rare, could yell, he could possibly get carried away too, but he wouldn't call him… sexy.

Hiei shuddered, disturbed by the realization that, even if the voice WAS just in his mind, then it would mean that his subconscious was actually a distraught Kurama that loved him, which was sort of scary. But one thing he knew was that he had to go see Kurama and make sure it wasn't his voice he was hearing.

"Ah!" Hiei yelled, as he heard the voice start talking again.

'Dear Hiei', it said. (It said that a lot.) 'I'm not desperate to see you,' it continued, sounding insincere; 'I don even LIKE Iron Chef.' It just kept getting weirder. 'However, I suppose I would like… just a small… a brief kiss. That's all. Sure. You'd be okay with that. Unless… unless… I'M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU AM I? You're so egotistical! I can't believe how you're taking advantage of me. You think that just because you're so good-looking, and because I just happen to love you, that you can get me to do ANYTHING. Well, that's not true, so wake up and smell the roses, Hiei! …Which would be very easily done… if you agreed to just come and spend one night with me. Please.'

The poor, confused youkai sulked down to the ground. Something was really wrong with him.

_**2:15 am. Kurama's bedroom. Mrs. Grippy Jelly Pen.**_

Well, it had been nearly an hour, and Kurama wasn't getting anywhere with the letter. Actually, he did make it to the top of Mount Emotional Crap, which consisted entirely of violently discarded letters, and he planted a flag that read: Dear Hiei. So, the redhead decided to give up for the night and try to get some sleep again. However, just as he was about to do just so, there was a tap-tap-tap and a scrap-scrap-scrap then a GET THE HELL OVER HERE AND OPEN THE WINDOW, at his window.

"Oh, Hiei! I was just thinking about you," Kurama said, opening up his window quickly, then rushing around to clean up all of the papers. It was after a few moments passed and Hiei had not said a word that Kurama looked over at him, and saw the terribly distraught expression on his friend's face. Hiei had turned pale, he had a sweat, and his arms were twitching. "Are you sick?" the redhead asked worriedly, running over to him.

"I'm… hearing… voices," Hiei said in a horse, nervous stutter.

"Voices?" Kurama repeated.

"A voice."

"A voice?"

"STOP TALKING TO ME!" Hiei yelled.

Kurama wasn't sure what to do, exactly. But he did know that Hiei was in a very fragile state, and needed to be treated kindly, and spoken to softly.

"Hiei, will you please calm down, you're frightening me…"

Hiei, will you please calm down, you're frightening me, Hiei repeated in his mind. 'Hiei', he thought, the i's seemed to make some sort of demented happy face along with the e.

Hiei fell over on the floor, unconscious.

"HIEI!" Kurama cried, caring to his little bundle of a youkai's need to be propped up. After Hiei didn't respond and simply remained limp, Kurama fixed him up on his bed.

Kurama marveled at Hiei's cute expression—sure, he looked as sick as a bee allergic to pollen, but still cute. Oh, but wouldn't it just be the cutest if he left Hiei a message to wake up to, to maybe ease his nerves? Sure, Kurama decided. So he grabbed his pen, then slowly brought it toward Hiei's arm.

–Now, maybe Kurama was just going crazy, or maybe Hiei just didn't like the idea of someone writing on him, but whatever the reason, Hiei immediately shot awake after Kurama had written the words 'You look-'.

"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" Hiei yelled, gripping Kurama's shoulders and beginning to shake him vigorously.

With that, Kurama became upset. And in his confusion, his distress, he began to sing a tune, interrupted every once in a while by his sobs.

Hiei stopped his shaking, and watched as Kurama sunk into his chest, pen in hand. Kurama lifted the pen to his own arm, then wrote a messy 'Hiei' on it.

Hiei twitched. So it was that PEN that was causing this. Whatever Kurama wrote, he could hear somehow! Which meant…

"Are you sexually frustrated?" Hiei blurted out, looking down upon Kurama with a certain unease.

"Ummhmm," Kurama whimpered, clutching onto Hiei's shirt as he sadly bit his lip to hold back tears.

Hiei sighed. Poor fox. It looked like Kurama was the one who had actually gone crazy. It was all too obvious. Kurama's writings clearly showed the fact that something was wrong, that he was feeling alone, and that he was all too desperate.

"Where did you get that pen?" Hiei asked, grabbing the tool from Kurama's hand.

"It's the pen I always—wait… I don't know. That isn't my pen," he replied, scooting closer to take a better look.

The two boys remained in their positions for a while. Kurama nuzzled warmly on top of Hiei, staring at the pen in confusion. And Hiei, calming and relaxing Kurama with a gentle rubbing on his back, staring at the pen in confusion.

"That's strange," Hiei said, putting the pen down. Kurama nodded in agreement.

"I wonder how I got it…" Kurama said quietly. Hiei shrugged with uncertainty.

"However it happened, just make sure you stop using it. It's exceedingly annoying."

"Uh-huh."

A/N: Umm… well, this is a strange beginning for a mini-story. I hope it's not TOO confusing or TOO uninteresting. Bored people need to be entertained the most, after all. I promise the next chapter will be better. I won't write it while I'm dead tired next time. Eh-heh…


	5. Do Magic 2

A/N: Here's chapter two of this boredom-induced mini-saga, ya'll. As always, this fanfic and all its chapters are dedicated to Katyfoxdemon2 (who's apparently up and writing again, so go read her stuff!), and all who find themselves with nothing better to do than read my fanfic.

_**When You've Nothing to Do:**_

_**Do Magic: Part 2 of 3.**_

The time was precisely 12:57pm. The place was precisely Kurama's kitchen. And the cursed item soon to be found was precisely a piece of Double Bubble Wubble Chub.

Kurama made his way through the kitchen, gracefully preparing many a food stuffs. He was feeling so much better this morning than he had the night before. For one, Hiei had finally come to visit. What a joyously reassuring event. Hiei really did value him after all. And for two, his mind was much more at ease. He had slept so well and felt so refreshed.

Kurama smiled to himself. The sun was shining, Iron Chef was on, and Hiei would be down any minute. Oh, how he loved being so warmly snuggled against Hiei… Then an ingenious idea fell off the cliff of Insanity Drive and landed right in the soft, pink-colored magic land located in Kurama's mind: Hiei didn't seem to **mind** when the redhead fell asleep on him, not at all. So maybe, just maybe, Kurama decided, Hiei could be persuaded into a romance-filled evening with him.

Kurama gasped to himself with the realization that this was the most brilliant idea ever spawned. But he had to make sure it was all done in just the right manner.

The time was precisely 1:06pm. The place was precisely Kurama's bedroom. And the cursed item soon to be found was precisely a piece of Double Bubble Wubble Chub.

Hiei slipped his right shoe on slowly, a thoughtful expression on his face that showed with utter perfection his thoughtful mental state. He had uncovered the mystery of the voice, but he still had yet to figure out what exactly was wrong with Kurama. Well, it seemed like the best way to get to the bottom of things would be by asking Kurama himself what was going on. And to do that, Hiei would need Kurama to be calm, relaxed, and comfortable, to make sure that the redhead didn't break down again.

Confirming his idea, Hiei stood, and proceeded to meet hid friend in the kitchen.

The time was precisely 1:09pm. The place was precisely Kurama's kitchen. And the cursed item soon to be found was precisely a piece of Double Bubble Wubble Chub.

"Hiei!" Kurama said cheerfully as the youkai approached him. "I'm glad you're here; lunch is almost ready."

Hiei nodded and took a seat on one of three stools in the kitchen area. As Kurama wiped the counter down, Hiei merely watched, and the fox became rather nervous.

"Kurama, what do you have planned for today?"

Kurama accidentally threw a knife across the kitchen.

"W-what?"

"Did you make plans to do anything today? If not, I was thinking that maybe we could do something…"

Kurama's heart pounded as he lowered to the floor and slinked across it to retrieve his knife. He held the sharp instrument of chopping tightly in his hands and thought about all the things Hiei might possibly want to do. Maybe they could spend the day reading from Kurama's obscure script collection…

"_Oh, John of Bennis Field, don't you want the hand of my fair young maiden?"_

"_Kurama, do I really have to—"_

"_Stay in character!"_

"…_Why… Miss Betty… although you're quite the fair young maiden, I have already… uh… already promised my love to the neighbor of mine in West of Bennis Field."_

"_Her? HER? Why, my sweet, sweet John of Bennis Field, you know she'll never love you like I do, like I have. She'll never be the one who takes care of you forever. You know that girl has an eye for that Baker of East Bennis Field! She won't resist him, even for such a great man as yourself. Now kiss me, John! Kiss me long and kiss me deep!"_

"_M-Miss Betty, you know your father's already planning to have me killed. One kiss may… rush his intentions."_

"_You need not mind my father, dear, handsome John of Bennis Field. The bond of true love shall smite my father."_

"_O… okay, Miss Betty… I… I'll give to you… the kiss you want, j-just as you… desire it."_

"_Oh, come to me my John of Bennis Field!"_

"…_Kurama… do I really have to kiss—" _

"_Stay in character!"_

Or maybe they could camp outside for the night…

"_Kurama, are you scared?"_

"_Of course not… Well, that mean old possum did frighten me a little. Could you hold me, Hiei?"_

"_You're really scared? Seriously?"_

"_Hiei…"_

"_All right, all right! Don't start crying!"_

"_Oh, thank you. You don't know how much _safer _I feel in your arms."_

"…_Um…"_

"_Now kiss me, John! Kiss me long and kiss me deep!" _

Or, **or**, they could have a night of pure passion…!

"_Hiei, _darling_, why don't you come closer, make yourself comfortable near me here…"_

"_Kurama, what is it exactly that you want…?"_

"_Come here, Hiei!"_

"_Ah!"_

"_This is MY fantasy, and for once, you're going to be my ideal Hiei Love God, got it?"_

"_I get it! Please don't hurt me…"_

"_Hurt you? Never Hiei, never. Don't worry. Kurama's not going to let anything harm you ever."_

"_Uh-huhmm…"_

"_Now, tell me exactly how you want Kurama to love you, baby."_

"I don't have anything planned, Hiei," Kurama said, struggling to stand with his shaking knees.

"Okay. Then why don't we go into the living room and relax for a minute," Hiei suggested, trying to somehow lead Kurama into the conversation of what the hell was wrong with him.

Kurama nearly began crying as he heard Hiei's request. Oh, the one thing he hadn't thought of: CUDDLING. He felt dizzy, and the redhead stammered over to the oven and banged his head into the glass of the food porthole as he half collapsed.

"Kurama!" Hiei cried out in alarm, rushing over to help his friend back up onto his feet. "Are you all right?"

The poor, dazed boy lost all and any control he might have once had over his body and fell backwards onto Hiei, causing the youkai to bash his own head on the floor.

Kurama quickly stood up and grabbed Hiei's hands, and with one powered pull, lifted Hiei back up.

"Is your head all right?" Kurama asked, sounding very upset and very concerned.

"Yeah… this sort of broke my head's fall," Hiei said, holding out a pack of Double Bubble Wubble Chub Gum.

"That's weird," Kurama said, taking the gum and inspecting it. "I don't buy this kind of gum."

"Hmm. Odd."

"Want a piece?"

"Sure. Why not."

And with that, Kurama ignored all the bad omens surrounding the gum and gave a piece to Hiei.

"How is it?" Kurama asked, looking at his friend curiously.

_It's okay. _

"That's good—"

"It's okay."

There was a moment of silence. Hiei was confused. How did Kurama know he would find the gum acceptable? Or maybe the redhead was merely shrugging Hiei's response off in annoyance, with sarcasm, and a hateful string of emotions left imprinted in Kurama's mind because Hiei had seen him in such a shameful state the night before. Yeah, something like that. On the other hand, though, Kurama was wondering why he had commented so soon, before Hiei even answered. But he would have sworn that he heard him talk already….

Understanding their mutual misunderstanding of the situation, Kurama quickly changed the subject.

"Let's go into the other room!" And with that said, Kurama latched onto Hiei's arm and dragged him into the TV room.

Despite the strange occurrence that had just so recently occurred, Kurama was still extremely excited about Hiei's blatant signals of immensely undeniable lust for his foxy, delicious demeanor. 'Relaxing'? Relaxing wasn't something people normally get together to do, after all. Friends don't 'relax' together. They do just the opposite! They do things! They go out and about, they sing in the streets, and they go wild with their spiffy credit cards and have a hoot escaping the bill collectors, all the while improvising their own chase music with whatever instruments they can find! No. Relaxing was made for married couples, and people who know each other so well that they didn't need to talk anymore. Relaxing was for lovers who wanted to enjoy each other's company. Relaxing was for people who wanted to bask in the utter sexiness of the person beside them.

He's very excited for some reason… 

"YOU THINK?" Kurama yelled in an eruption of half passion, half anger towards Hiei's unknowing attitude. Hiei looked distressed.

"What's wrong with you, Kurama?" Hiei asked, after the two had positioned themselves on the **_loveseat_**.

Kurama's eyes watered. Wasn't it obvious? Wasn't it clear that he was excited about Hiei's offer to snuggle 'till the cows come home? Wasn't it all too certain that nothing was wrong, and that he was the happiest, giddiest he'd ever been?

"Wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong!" But before Kurama could continue, something came into mind. He didn't **buy** that kind of gum. Why would it be there? And why was it that, just as Hiei started to chew it, Kurama started hearing him speak when he wasn't even moving his lips…?

While Kurama was having an epiphany, Hiei was as curious as a fluffy kitten in a department store (analogy subject to perception).

_He seems upset… Maybe I should try to comfort him, like I did last night, _Hiei thought.

Kurama scooted closer to Hiei, and put on his most pathetic-looking, cute expression, then, with Kurama within perfect reach and position, Hiei wrapped his arm around the fox's shoulders and hugged him softly.

"It's okay, Kurama. You can tell me what your problem is."

I wonder if he really thinks I'm sexy, like he wrote in his letter… 

"My problem… is… you… you're just… too… sexy," Kurama sobbed, taking advantage of Hiei's hug as much as he could to get in closer to him. That pen was a terrible pain, but the gum Kurama liked.

"What?" Hiei asked, looking a little surprised. _He's snapped._

"I'm serious, Hiei-Bunny. I really like you, and it's making me go crazy."

What can I do to help him…? Eh… 

"Hiei, just hold me like this. I'll be okay… I just hope you don't mind that I might fall asleep, and talk about you when I do."

Hiei was devoid of thoughts and words.

"Though… if you were to—no. You would never want to."

"Never want to **what**?" Hiei asked, gently pushing Kurama away to look him in the eye, and as we all must know, it's almost always the case that one's eyes are on or near one's face, and Hiei saw while on his eye quest that Kurama had a very strange look on his face. One that seemed to say: 'hello, Hiei. Will you marry me?' He was blushing, too. And after seeing all this, Hiei had but one thought: _what the hell_?

"Maybe you could… just kiss me—once! That's all I ask."

I guess I wouldn't really mind that… 

Before Hiei could technically answer, Kurama had lunged forward and attacked Hiei in a mini-fit of love. Lips exploring around Hiei's neck, heart pounding, and hands playing a friendly game of 'finding out where Hiei's ticklish', Kurama was one happy fox, and Hiei was one stunned rabbit.

"Kur…!" was all Hiei managed to say.

_Kurama's completely serious, _Hiei thought in shock_, and it's sort of… nice. _

"Are you all right, Bunny?" Kurama asked, after Hiei had stopped moving and breathing.

Kurama… 

"Did I do something wrong, Hiei?"

No…Kurama, you haven't. 

Kurama was beginning to like being able to read Hiei's mind. It could let him know exactly what Hiei wanted, and in turn giving Kurama exactly what he wanted as well.

Kurama lifted himself off and away from Hiei for a moment, and signaled for his friend to sit up himself. And Hiei did just so, also moving toward Kurama and taking up residence in his lap—it was quite an exclusive place to live. Then, to Kurama's shock and horror, Hiei removed the gum from his mouth and disposed of it before Kurama knew what was going on.

The redhead stared, looking unbelievably distraught and displeased with the utterly confused Hiei's actions. Kurama looked so unhappy, in fact, that Hiei was almost insulted.

"Why did you do that, Hiei?" Kurama yelled, disregarding that Hiei's ears were so close to his mouth that they were practically related.

"Do what?" Hiei retorted, shouting equally as loud as his companion did in an offended shrill commonly used by discontented young human girls attempting to convince somebody of something that really didn't matter in the slightest, yet was still emotionally heavy and dejected.

Kurama remained silent. He was just too upset for words for some reason.

"I'm leaving!" Kurama stood up and began to cry as he ran away, out of the room in a terribly overdramatic huff.

Hiei mumbled to himself and stood, hurrying into the kitchen in a rage. That gum had left an awful aftertaste.


End file.
